Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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