Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
