threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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