Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
