We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
