You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
