As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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