She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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