I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize