i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!