So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
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She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
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I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?