I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage