I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!