i don't like sucking hair
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
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