Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(561): View more from Florida

Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(561): Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign. http://tfl.nu/lnzh

Replies (4) Good night (1079) Bad night (956)
Favorite
(847): View more from Illinois

I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.

(847): View more from Illinois

parking. I am not drunk

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(847): I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot. (847): parking. I am not drunk http://tfl.nu/zit9

Replies (9) Good night (1145) Bad night (695)
Favorite
(512): View more from Texas

Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(512): Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer. http://tfl.nu/t35w

Replies (22) Good night (4560) Bad night (1182)
Favorite
(409): View more from Texas

white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(409): white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character http://tfl.nu/8uci

Replies (13) Good night (6371) Bad night (1093)
Favorite
(609): View more from New Jersey

There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(609): There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled http://tfl.nu/cbhx

Replies (8) Good night (5335) Bad night (1010)
Favorite
(440): View more from Ohio

It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(440): It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night http://tfl.nu/ffc5

Replies (17) Good night (1177) Bad night (2509)
Favorite
(620): View more from Kansas

we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(620): we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can. http://tfl.nu/vk8s

Replies (5) Good night (1134) Bad night (4402)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome? http://tfl.nu/4kcb

Replies (13) Good night (2367) Bad night (838)
Favorite
(479): View more from Arkansas

everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(479): everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers (1-479): trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow http://tfl.nu/b3n0

Replies (9) Good night (1786) Bad night (848)
Favorite
(301): View more from Maryland

I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(301): I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now. http://tfl.nu/ln6x

Replies (8) Good night (2365) Bad night (1268)
Favorite
(914): View more from New York

I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(914): I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go. http://tfl.nu/xxmp

Replies (2) Good night (1079) Bad night (535)
Favorite
(501): View more from Arkansas

It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(501): It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks http://tfl.nu/tmia

Replies (1) Good night (353) Bad night (575)
Favorite
(607): View more from New York

Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(607): Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme. http://tfl.nu/vszb

Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (378)
Favorite
(714): View more from California

Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(714): Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight. http://tfl.nu/ptsd

Replies (5) Good night (778) Bad night (366)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate. http://tfl.nu/uh2w

Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (293)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard