just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
