I love black thongs
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she peed on how many people?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
