and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I need moral support for this bender
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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