I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
