OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
