Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
