Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Your penis caused this!
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