I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
