We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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