I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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