in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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