I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
