he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
