Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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