Im at strip club and am horny
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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