have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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