if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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