just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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