I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
