i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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