My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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