Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
40s are totally the cure
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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