Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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