Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we're making bets on your personal life
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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