$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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