The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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