dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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