It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
