I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I did not marry a roomba.
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