I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
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So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
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Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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