I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
