Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
