Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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