I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
