She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
