just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
