All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You're like the curious george of whores
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Randomize
