How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
