Moan for me like Helen Keller
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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