i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
