The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
