I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize