At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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