i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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